The Supermum Myth and Expectations of What a Mother Should Be

 A mother’s default mode network rewires after birth—shifting her sense of self, identity, and focus.

On top of that profound adjustment, she’s also contending with something external: 

The myth of the Supermum.

Motherhood is often shaped by deeply ingrained social programming—expectations of what a mother should be.

Even when a mother wants to change this narrative, she’s still wrestling with the idea that "she should be able to do it all on her own." 

The guilt, shame, and sense of failure that can arise from asking for help are so common—but they’re not reflective of reality.

On some level, I understand perfectionism—it can be a self-protective mechanism.

But at the same time, I never want a mother to feel judged or criticised for the impossible standards she may be holding herself to.

The question becomes:

Q. How do we support mothers in shifting from perfectionism to embracing the idea of being a “good enough” mother—without adding to the weight of expectation?

Here’s the truth: Mothers don’t need to be superhuman—they need systems of care.

Because without support, biology can feel like betrayal.
With support, biology feels like power.

I’ve seen so many women push themselves until they hit a wall of depletion, burnout, or depression. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s avoidable.

What makes the difference?

✔️ Compassion

✔️ Community

✔️ A plan that acknowledges motherhood as a transformation—normal, expected, and worthy of care.

I deeply respect the work of Dr Sophie Brock who has brought so much clarity to this topic. Her insights on the supermum myth and the freedom of being a “good enough” mother are invaluable.

We don’t need more super mums.
We need more supported mums.